Calling Out

I turned it over to God
In His time He'll take it away
there must be a reason for this pain
that I am suffering everyday

There's no answer to my prayers
maybe He does know best
I try to do what's right
and let Him control the rest

Does He remember who I am
did He give me more than I can take
does He hear me calling
is it me He wouldn't leave or forsake

Why won't the pain ever go away
why does it stay right in my mind 
is agnosticism the way to go
happiness I will never find

© Abbye

I haven't read this book, Let Go of Who You Think You're Supposed to Be and Embrace Who You Are, but the title of it really grabbed my attention so I put it in the Nerd Shop. I have often thought, and wrote about, who I would have been if the horrible things in my life hadn't happened to me. I know there is no way of changing the past, but when I think about pivotal moments in my life, I can't help but think if x didn't happen then I would have done z instead of y. I don't know if I will ever truly be able to let go of who I am suppose to be, but in recent years I have accepted who I have become.

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