love is a locked door

I wrote this when Travis was 17, already graduated from high school and four months short of his 18th birthday. Reading back over it, I wonder if I would have done things differently had I known less than five years later he wouldn't be with us anymore. I don't have any regrets. Had I not made the choice when I did, maybe we wouldn't even had him those five years. It was difficult to watch Travis in so much pain and feel helpless to help him. Things would go down hill for the next couple of years, but he survived his teens, with the help of the courts. In his twenties, like most, he was trying to find himself and was showing some level of responsibility. Sometimes the hardest decisions have the biggest reward. Love is what it needs to be at any given time.

Subjectlove is a locked door
DateCreated6/2/2007 1:47:00 AM
PostedDate6/2/2007 1:31:00 AM
BodyYou can always create a fight
in your quest to be free
you think you can runaway
it no longer phases me

Skate down the middle of the road
shout obscenities at me
throw yourself in front of a car
is that maturity you want me to see

When you can follow the rules
respect, listen and obey
you can come back in the house
but not until that day

In less than four months
they will call you grown
time to accept responsibilty
for the actions that you've shown

Your medicine we will provide
but look for nothing more
realize what you had at home
right now, love is a locked door

I never claimed to have the answers
together we worked things through
love has taken on a new form
now it is up to you

© Abbye

Some may question why I would share this, especially since it doesn't shine Travis or probably me in the best light. I share because I remember reading articles or poems I could relate to when I was going through some of my most horrendous moments of my life. It helps you to realize that you aren't crazy, this is not only happening to me, but someone else is going through the same thing with their teen. It can shed a glimmer of hope to someone, that tough love decisions are tough, but survivable. 

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