Long Goodbye

Part One


I didn't know it would be the last time that we would be together.  The events and details leading up to our last goodbye are beyond comprehensible. I want to share all the signs from the time I met you in 2008 because it really confirms destiny. I don't want to share because they are my memories, our moments, and wouldn't want them tarnished in any way. There's just one part I will describe.


I'd already decided on January 1, 2020 that I would open my heart to love from another, whoever that may be, and try once again to just 'like' you as I had done a few times before. I changed my discord status to "Signs from the Universe".  I was determined to break my heart free. I didn't tell you like I had other times. We'd been spending several wonderful hours together each day.

January 8, 2020, our conversation started about how you were feeling, which was unusual for us. We continued to chat and you said if I logged in, we could build our house. We both logged in to the game to play for a few more hours.



When you left the game unexpectedly that evening shortly after 5 PM, I didn't immediately worry. I assured myself that it would be best to give you space. It wasn't unusual for you to go into hiding when you were feeling badly. You also had a lot going on with the recent litter of pups!


For 17 days, my worry escalated and subsided - you were still logged into discord.  I really was trying to make this change, that I wanted, in our relationship work. I didn't reach out, I just posted my mind's thoughts over the next 2.5 weeks. On January 25, I posted an image that I'd found in the early morning.  In the afternoon, I randomly went to YouTube and the first song I see "Run" by Snow Patrol caught my eye - I'd never heard of it, so I listened.



I loved the song so much - it felt empowering - so I posted it on discord.  Later that night, you logged off of discord and it felt wrong. I went online and to calm my anxiety, I searched your name followed by obit. To my shock and horror, it was true. You had unexpectedly passed away January 19. The obituary was published January 25, the day that I found it. I went back and listened to the song and know, without a doubt, I was supposed to find that song - a message from you - before I found out you were gone. I can point to specific things in emails and messages that we shared. The next morning I went to find a different video of Run - one with lyrics - within that video there was even further confirmation that this was a message from you, and destiny.

I almost lost you on August 7, 2015, when your house blew up. But the Universe knew I wasn't ready to say goodbye. I wasn't strong enough.   News Story of Explosion


I'm at peace because I know you're at peace. I don't think I'd feel the same without the powerful message you left for me through this song. This song was our last goodbye. 


With your blessing, I will continue to keep my heart open to love. Love will find me. 


RIP JRF 
Our Story Continues (Part Two):
February 14, 2020 - Somewhere Between the Stars




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